Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Where Am I?

Where Am I?


Where I’m from
I am from dirt roads,
From callused feet and summertime.
From my grass stained jeans and tendency to roam free.
From my love of late nights and campfires shared,
And dance floors made from plywood in the middle of the street.
I’m from cherry trees and kool-aid stands,
From the costumes I wore when we played pretend.
From the smell of cinnamon and the clamper of feet, and the hourly chime of church bells.
I’m from bad times, and good times, and those peaceful times where nothing has to be said at all.
I’m from mid-day naps and conversations that last long into the night,
From harmonious laughter and cold coffee.

    Where I am now has changed a bit from where I came from. I’m a thousand places at once, and these places could change at any moment. Where I am is more than my literal location: it is my place in the world, the stage I’m at in my life, and where I am emotionally. These things aren’t always easy to gauge, but I suppose that’s what self discovery is all about.

    Where am I? I could take this question from a literal standpoint. As of now, I’m in an office chair, at a desk, in my home, in Phillips, Nebraska. Sometimes I’m in Aurora, where I go to school and work. Other times I’m in Grand Island, where the rest of my family lives. You may find this information pointless and unnecessary, but where I am literally is something that strongly shapes the other parts of where I am.

    How about, where am I in my life? I’m at a stage I feel is crucial to the rest of my journey. Where I am now in this sense is going to greatly affect the answer I have to the question “where am I?” in the future. I am less than a month away from graduating high school and about six months away from my college career. I’m at a beginning and an end at the same time. On one hand I’m beginning life on my own, college, something completely new. On the other, I’m ending 13 years of education at Aurora Public Schools and moving away from my hometown of Phillips.

    At this point in my life I am at a fork in the road. One fork leads to another fork, and that one to another, and another. The choices I make now are the ones that will shape my whole life, and the path I choose will do the same. I am at a time that I will look back on in the future and either praise myself for, or regret.

    In addition to describing where I am as a stage in life, I could also answer the question with where I am in my emotional and intellectual growth. If I had to, I would guess that most high schoolers wouldn’t say that they feel they are completely prepared be out on their own. I, however, do feel that in my 18 years I have grown enough intellectually and emotionally to begin a life of my own. I may not know everything, but I have not only the academic, but the emotional intelligence to survive without the support I’ve received in my home throughout my life.

    A question like “Where am I?” seems easy enough to answer at first, but after some thought I’ve found maybe I don’t know exactly where I am, or even where I’m on my way to (which is probably equally, if not more, important). If anything, though, it’s gotten the wheels in my mind turning and given me some insight into the possibilities of where I could be very, very soon.

Where am I?
I am a thousand places at once,
a passenger on an airplane that never lands.
I am at home, and I am on the way out.
I am standing in the entryway taking one last reminiscent look at the scene behind me.
I am at a beginning and an end, at the base of the highest mountain,
at the edge of the deepest trench.
I am at a fork in the road. If I keep walking I will encounter another, and another,
and another.

I am in love, and in hopefulness, and happiness.




My School
My State



My Home






My Community








2 comments:

  1. Jessi,
    You're right, the question "where am I" does seem simple at first but in actuality is quite complex. It's true, most of us aren't fully prepared to leave home yet. I think, at first, it'll be awkward once I leave and will only have minimal contact with my loved ones. I haven't been away from home much but when I am my phone is being bombarded with texts from my "over protective" mother. But, I know I'll be able to push through it and gain another family, the Marine Corps. I know a bright future lays ahead of you and you will take advantage of its opportunities.

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  2. Jess,

    I definitely think you are ready to face the world and you are ready intellectually and emotionally. I know how hard it is to start off as a new mother (and you are going to school!) I don't know if I could have done that at 18. I waited until I was 27, but then I did it for 17 years! Crazy! I love that you intertwined the poem into this, and I agree that where you are has a lot to do with where you are going. Nice job.

    Dr. English

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